Things I am not falling for:
And why I'm not falling for them.
1. "Buying" (or renting) your taste/personal style for content
We’re starting off hot apparently!
I’m all for sustainability but yes, even the monthly rental model doesn’t sit right with me (although I would possibly consider renting some pieces for a special event).
Personal style and taste used to mean something. Now, you can just buy it — or better yet, rent it for a month! No need to commit to the caring of a garment, worrying that it probably won’t be trendy in a week, or finding space in your closet.
We’ve entered an era where you can buy, rent, and copy an “aesthetic…” but what does that leave you with, really?
Taste is no longer about who you are, how you live, your values, your beliefs —it’s about how well you can perform the role of someone who would live the life of the aesthetic you chose to embody for that day.
(This also tilts into ~living for content~ territory, which I’m also not falling for)
But it doesn’t just happen online, it happens IRL too. Performative personality seems so easy to get away with these days, especially as society becomes more isolated; no one can really know if you live the way you’re portraying online or at the occasional community event, because we don’t live with each other anymore. We catch only snippets of each others’ lives and bear the consequences of a severe lack of community and village.
This stuff also comes up in my personal branding projects all the time. I tell my clients that you have to be real with yourself to develop a brand. You can’t just use someone else’s vision as a quick fix; it will be unsustainable and exhausting to you, and your audience will be able to see right through it.
It all comes down to authenticity and congruence!
Living is what develops your taste. Doing things is what develops your personal style. Having something to say is what develops your brand.
So what do you actually like? How do you actually live? Where do you want to go? What is it that you have to say? Do you even have something to say?
2. Hustling
It's funny how the second I stop hustling and lean into the unknown of being a solopreneur, I call in all the yummy aligned clients that make work feel like a soft bed of grass on a sunny day. I'm talking: collaborative, full invoice paid upfront, open, purpose-driven people that I’ve always dreamed of working with.
For more context, about a year and a half ago I realized that getting caught up in the rat race was causing burnout. So, I shifted my offerings to focus on branding only, stopped doing VA work + marketing (which I thought was the main culprit) but I was still feeling exhausted and burnt out.
It’s a tale as old as time: it was the marketing, the guilt of not having time to post content every day, trying to keep up on every single platform, responding to emails and messages, clamouring to fill up my client roster, trying to bring in more income, drowning in daily tasks — the needle was not moving at all.
And I don’t think I’ve found the balance quite yet, but I’m getting there...
I still have some serious, residual productivity issues that have been cemented by patterns that my nervous system just can’t shake; even after almost 3 years of being out of my 9-5 desk job. Even though I’m better at sticking to my boundaries, I still have to fight the urge to not sit at my desk just for the sake of sitting at my desk.
But now, instead of hustling, I’m leaning into stewardship:
I tend to what’s right in front of me.
I work in alignment with my energy.
I serve the people currently in my orbit.
I manage my tasks like a real life human with blood and a brain and emotions (it’s literally just not natural to have 10-15 to-do’s in a day).
I nourish my own wellbeing, and that of my household.
And I trust that in the quiet tending, in every boundary honored, and every intentional step — there is expansion. Because as it turns out, I didn’t need to hustle to find more aligned clients, I just needed to create space for them.
3. Hating social media
“I have an Instagram account but I don’t like post on it or anything…”
I hear this all the time and it’s such an odd statement to me.
My response usually is something to the affect of, “Oh cool! I have an Instagram account too and I actually love posting!” That’s usually met with a bit of performative disdain — quickly followed by a flicker of hesitant curiosity.
It almost feels like I’ve committed a crime! A crime of audacity! How dare I share my ideas, tastes, opinions, gifts, or offerings with the world!
I don’t hate social media and I’m not ashamed of it!
Documenting and creating through social media is simply another creative outlet. For me, it fosters the celebration of life, archiving the big and small moments in a memorable way. It’s expression, it’s exploration, it’s discovery, it’s sharing.
4. Corporate professionalism
Lately, I’ve been taking inventory of not just how I work but why I work the way I do. What feels true, what no longer fits, and what I’m unlearning and redefining as I grow deeper in my creative practice and entrepreneurial endeavors.
While I certainly value the fundamentals of professionalism (such as integrity, competence, reliability, accountability) I am so done with the other little things that go along with the idea of a running a business.
What makes us feel like our business has to look and function a certain way?
Here are a few things I’m currently doing + undoing:
For future brand photoshoots, I’ll be letting go of the editorial, blazer, studio vibes — and while I affectionately look back on and appreciate the imagery and the experience of doing these shoots, it just really doesn’t feel aligned anymore.
I am not always available. I tell all my clients that my office hours are “M-F 8am-5pm, but my Mondays are for easing in and my Fridays are for easing out — and I highly recommend you do the same.”
I sign my emails off with “xoxo.”
I’m no longer interested in being seen as the solution or the person with all the answers. And while I guess I do provide “solutions” per say, I want to work with people who are drawn to my gifts and perspective as a creative and as a human instead of being seen as a means to an end. Because if it’s the latter, the relationship is transactional and becomes heavy with pressure. And that’s not what my work is about. For me, brand projects are about collaboration, co-creation, and the variety of gifts meeting to create something truly meaningful. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how I want to shift the way I communicate my value and share my offerings: it’s in how I see things in a deeper way, how I guide, how I bring visions to life. It’s in my depth, my perspective, and my humanness — not just in my ability to get things done.
I have a track record of clients turning into friends after projects.
I use Instagram DM’s for most “discovery calls.”
5. Using ChatGPT for basic Google searches
Simply put: the minute I learned how much energy/water it takes to run a chat, I really questioned using it at all. However, I’ve decided that I feel comfortable using it as a tool in very specific instances BUT I will refrain myself from using it for anything I could use Google for.
This one doesn’t need much more explaining. But I will also add that I’m starting to question the use of the internet in general when I want to learn information. I feel a sort of pull back to the act of acquiring knowledge from books I can hold in my own two hands, friends I can call, the community around me — just real life humans with real life experience and real life opinions. Even a good ole blog feels so much better these days.
6. Anti-aging
I aim to stay juicy and vibrant as I grow older. But it isn’t about being wrinkle-free, or avoiding the gradual decay that will inevitably happen to all of our bodies. It’s about keeping the light in my eyes, staying joyful even with the smallest of moments, and honoring the stories I’ve lived through, no matter how they leave their marks on my skin.
One of my biggest insecurities of my 20-somethings have been my wrinkles and skin texture. But working toward congruence means that I should be celebrating the wrinkles and scars that tell the little stories of what makes me, me.
(Don’t get me wrong though, I’ll continue practicing facial massages, dry brushing, face taping, using my holy grail skincare concoctions because blood circulation cultivates that inner + outer glow)
7. Comparison
This stems from my recent musings on the concept of tending + stewardship — something I’ve already touched on a bit and plan to dive into more fully in a future post.
In short: I’ve started to notice, in real time, when I’m slipping into comparison, and how quickly that can influence my decisions.
So these days, I’m rediscovering how lovely and freeing it is to live in the present, without comparison or influence; loving what I have, caring for it well, and finding joy in being creative and resourceful with what’s already here.
More on this later, but I’ll leave you with this little strategy I’ve implemented that’s been incredibly fruitful in this endeavor.
I’ve started to keep a list of things I need or want — upgrades in my home, gaps in my closet, tools and resources for my hobbies, etc. — with one rule: that I can only buy the item if I still need/want it 2 months later. This strategy has helped me fill in the gaps of what I truly need, and also ward off any fleeting desires.
Thanks for being here, chat soon —
xoxo, Maggie